Thursday, June 6, 2013

I'm Not Gonna Cry (Day Thirty Four)

     July 14th, 2012 - Chennai, India
     The LORD has this thing with me where He doesn't let me stay comfortable. Just when I was nice and cozy with Andy and Marissa and everyone on the team, I was moved to Joy and Jacobs team.
     We had drama training all day. It was hard, exhausting and we were all sweating. I know the drama so it is especially hard for me to relearn it with this new group of people. My patience was stretched and God keeps molding me- but it hurts!
     My MAG's theme for the day is Joy. Joy when we don't want to push on, joy when we are tired, joy when we don't have any desire to do the drama one more time. It was hard to have joy today.
     Before breakfast, my MAG prayed together for God-given joy because we know it comes from Him and not ourselves. So I kept smiling, kept seeking to give Jesus and my team all I had. I gave everything in Texas for drama training, I can give everything here.
     By the end of our training, when we still had to go through the drama but the other team was done for hours, and dinner was soon, I began to loose my composure. I really want my family, even my Nepal team. Jesus ended my last season with the Nepal team VERY quickly. But this new season with my India team will be good, I just haven't seen it yet. I stuffed down my emotions until we were done with our drama. Our team then made its way to dinner at around 8:30pm and when we walked in, the other team was all on their feet clapping and cheering for us. I began to cry and tried to look away.
     After I ate, I told Jessica I felt like crying and she asked my why. I began to explain how hard the transition has been. Julia came over to me, hugged me and let me cry. She said she loves me and is here for me. Before bed, she gave me a book full of scripture to encourage me.
     I am very thankful for all of the Ctrippers who understand. Jesus understands my heart and He has very good things for me in store.

     The struggles
of that time in India were hard, but the Lord pulled me through all of it and I loved it all. It was hard, and there were parts that were harder than others but I made great friendships with those girls.

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