July 19th, 2012 - Chennai, India
I question why my heart is hard. Not hard to Jesus or His will for me, but hard to this ministry and what Jesus does every day. I WANT to see miracles but I am only going ministry with some of my heart. I have to give it all. Jesus gave everything for me, why am I not investing EVERYTHING for Him? The bus rides to ministry sites always shake me up, exhaust me and when I get off the bus to do ministry, I feel spent.
In session this morning we talked about the armor of God and how to stand firm against the enemy. How do I wear my armor on a two hour bus ride? Jesus is going to have to show me because I feel so inadequate and so useless, burnt out even. I am ready to go home, but I keep reminding myself what I am here for. God would not have e here if He didn't have HUGE plans for me.
Our first ministry site today was a school. We went into a classroom with many kids and did children's ministry and showed them the love of Jesus. The classroom was small, but the kids grinned and when we walked in, they clapped and cheered like we were some kind of celebrities The teachers served us cold orange soda and we sipped it before we taught. We had only 30 minutes, but we shared the Gospel and sang songs with them. I just want them to grow up to know exactly what Jesus did for them. In the future, I hope they will remember the white people who came from the other side of the world just to tell them about Jesus. May they always remember and one day give their lives to Him completely.
Our next stop was a secluded village. The road to the village was bumpy and all around us there were rice fields. For miles and miles all I could see where rice fields and small village homes. Our bus stopped and we had to walk into the village. The road was bumpy and uneven and the walk was long, but we made it to the church, ventured inside and sat until we were instructed to go invite people to our drama. The church is a very small building, about the size of my kitchen at home. There is empty floor space and a few small things, including a sound system.
We went through the village and invited many people to come. Their lives here are so simple and lack the many distractions we have at home- TVs, internet, masses of books, lots of music. The village was peaceful. The children don't all have clothes and will run around naked, but most of the adults have clothes. Their houses are small, but they function well because this is how they have lived for so long. The word that kept coming to my mind is simple. After our drama, we prayed for healing for several people. The type of ministry we are doing here in India is so much different than Nepal. We are praying for so much healing here, I hope and pray God will use all of this healing to lead every person to a relationship with Jesus
Before we left, they gave us tea. The Indian people are extremely hospitable. Pastor O said that when we left without eating, the people in the village were sad because we left hungry. We had to run back to our bus from the village because we were so late leaving the village and it is dangerous at night. I have not been fearful in these villages, but I do like to be cautious.
Before bed, my MAG discussed lies we have believed. I believe the lie that I am not strong enough or good enough to be a full time missionary. But God has torn that lie down- my heart's desire is to share the Gospel. God will give me strength and make me adequate for where He wants me. Where He leads, I will follow.
I question why my heart is hard. Not hard to Jesus or His will for me, but hard to this ministry and what Jesus does every day. I WANT to see miracles but I am only going ministry with some of my heart. I have to give it all. Jesus gave everything for me, why am I not investing EVERYTHING for Him? The bus rides to ministry sites always shake me up, exhaust me and when I get off the bus to do ministry, I feel spent.
In session this morning we talked about the armor of God and how to stand firm against the enemy. How do I wear my armor on a two hour bus ride? Jesus is going to have to show me because I feel so inadequate and so useless, burnt out even. I am ready to go home, but I keep reminding myself what I am here for. God would not have e here if He didn't have HUGE plans for me.
Our first ministry site today was a school. We went into a classroom with many kids and did children's ministry and showed them the love of Jesus. The classroom was small, but the kids grinned and when we walked in, they clapped and cheered like we were some kind of celebrities The teachers served us cold orange soda and we sipped it before we taught. We had only 30 minutes, but we shared the Gospel and sang songs with them. I just want them to grow up to know exactly what Jesus did for them. In the future, I hope they will remember the white people who came from the other side of the world just to tell them about Jesus. May they always remember and one day give their lives to Him completely.
Our next stop was a secluded village. The road to the village was bumpy and all around us there were rice fields. For miles and miles all I could see where rice fields and small village homes. Our bus stopped and we had to walk into the village. The road was bumpy and uneven and the walk was long, but we made it to the church, ventured inside and sat until we were instructed to go invite people to our drama. The church is a very small building, about the size of my kitchen at home. There is empty floor space and a few small things, including a sound system.
We went through the village and invited many people to come. Their lives here are so simple and lack the many distractions we have at home- TVs, internet, masses of books, lots of music. The village was peaceful. The children don't all have clothes and will run around naked, but most of the adults have clothes. Their houses are small, but they function well because this is how they have lived for so long. The word that kept coming to my mind is simple. After our drama, we prayed for healing for several people. The type of ministry we are doing here in India is so much different than Nepal. We are praying for so much healing here, I hope and pray God will use all of this healing to lead every person to a relationship with Jesus
Before we left, they gave us tea. The Indian people are extremely hospitable. Pastor O said that when we left without eating, the people in the village were sad because we left hungry. We had to run back to our bus from the village because we were so late leaving the village and it is dangerous at night. I have not been fearful in these villages, but I do like to be cautious.
Before bed, my MAG discussed lies we have believed. I believe the lie that I am not strong enough or good enough to be a full time missionary. But God has torn that lie down- my heart's desire is to share the Gospel. God will give me strength and make me adequate for where He wants me. Where He leads, I will follow.
The kids in the village!
The kids in the village! So precious!
Praying to Jesus!
We could hardly believe how far away from home we were!
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